Good Vs. Evil in an epic battle of cars that have nothing to do with any of it!

It’s no secret that Mattel is BIG on cross promotion for their many lines and the benefits are easy enough to see, even if the pairings may not be. Personally, I didn’t see a lot of Masters of the Universe Classics collectors diving headlong into a steep Polly Pockets convention because they were so overwhelmed by the She-Ra 3 pack at Comic Con but what I hadn’t factored in was She-Ra fans who’ve been starved for new product since MOTUC began. By the way, not to worry She-Ravers; with Swift Wind, Bubble Power She-Ra and The Star Sisters 3 pack it’s shaping up to be quite a good year for The Rebellion! On the flip side of the line crossovers there’s the pairings that are “no-brainers” of course there should be a Batgirl Barbie, of course there should be a Ray Mysterio dressed like DC Comics The Flash and it goes without saying that of course there should Hot Wheels based on Masters of the Universe… but …. these Hot Wheels? Well…see for yourself and prepare for some head scratching…

"Smoke and a pancake? Cigar and a waffle?..."

So let’s start with the good. All of the artwork for these new Hot Wheels is from the vintage line with the exception of Orko’s image which may be from a cardback or mini-comic. The images are all clean and crisp and excellent choices to be displayed on Hot Wheels. All of them being from the original vintage Masters of the Universe line, I think it’s a safe bet that future lines might each have their own theme such as Princess of Power or New Adventures of He-Man and feature artwork from those lines. The packaging is very nice as you can see and definitely sets these apart from the average Hot Wheels making them a bit easier for Noobs like me to find without scrounging through an endless sea of miniature vehicles. The cars themselves are colorful and a wide variety of vehicles and that’s pretty much it in the plus column for those.

Here we go, NONE of these vehicles have even the smallest shred of a connection to Masters of the Universe whatsoever. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I did find one. The Custom ’77 Dodge Van. As we all know 1977 was the year that Star Wars was released, Kenner did the toys which was later absorbed by Hasbro and has been a financial juggernaut ever since. What a lot of people don’t know is that filmmaker George Lucas went to Mattel first with the license, Mattel thought his asking price was too high and passed…that’s right….passed…on the toy rights…to STAR WARS. The mammoth success of Kenner’s Star Wars line was a thorn in the side/egg on the face of Mattel’s upper management who decided to redeem themselves with their own new male action figures and had all of their design teams pitch their best ideas. Among them was the three prototype figures (A Soldier, A Future Warrior and a Barbarian) that would become Masters of the Universe….and it is possible that Roger Sweet or Mark Taylor (depending on who you believe came up with He-Man) drove a custom Dodge Van. There. That particular vehicle kinda sorta makes sense now…good luck connecting the rest. How a 29 Ford Pickup and Orko go together I’ll never know. Even the 59 Cadillac Funny Car which has a beautiful illustration of the Slime Pit on it is executed poorly. When the body flips up…The Slime Pit is upside down? So all the slime would be flowing back into the skull? Really? This was the best you could do? The aforementioned Dodge Van is a six seater…wouldn’t this have been an ideal vehicle for a Battle Bones illustration? Or instead a Dodge Ram with the Battle Ram on the side? These aren’t exactly Quantum Equations I’m doing here. But honestly, Earth vehicles shouldn’t even be entering into it. I don’t collect Hot Wheels but I have seen them before. There’s all kinds of animal based and robotic future concept vehicles in there. MOTU has a fleet of bizarre and cool vehicles in it’s history and you’re telling me these can’t be put in Hot Wheels scale? Between this and the near $5.00 price tag per car (you’re reading that right) it’s not imagine someone at Mattel saying “Just slap a picture of He-Man on the side of it and they’ll pay anything for it.” I can understand the price though, I mean Mattel makes Hot Wheels but has to pay whoever owns the rights to Masters of the Universe a big chunk of money to be able to use that license…oh wait…Mattel owns Masters of the Universe too. Curiouser and curiouser. I do wish I’d found the one I was missing which is a Dairy Delivery truck with the Land Shark artwork on the side. Friendly tip, if you see a milk truck that has a Barbarian Warlord of Destruction with the grim visage of Death for a face piloting a mechanized version of the perfect killing machine emblazoned on it’s side…get your cottage cheese elsewhere.

 

About the Author: Review-Or Review-Or has been collecting Masters of the Universe action figures since they first became available in the early 80's. He's stuck with He-Man through his lowest points (MeteOrbs, New Adventures, Disco Skeletor, Smash Blade He-Man etc.) and he's happily reaping the rewards of the new golden age in MOTU collecting: Masters of the Universe Classics! When he's not in his dungeon writing about the latest MOTUC news, he's more than likely taking a figure out of the package and finding some cool way to display it! In his off time this mysterious contributor to AFHUB.COM enjoys counting calories and revising his ever-expanding Enemies List!

 

Leave a Reply